Tuesday, May 22, 2007

It Was The ___st of Times


They All Suck

Educrats

  • For passing spineless, compromised legislation that helps no one
  • For watering down standards to make their states look good
  • For knuckling under to the so-called grown-ups rather than advocating for the kids

Academics

  • For having their heads permanently shoved up their asses
  • For publishing esoteric essays and books that help no one
  • For advocating new approaches and new programs without a shred of anything that anyone outside of Education would call scientific data
  • For constructing teacher education programs that do not give teachers any of the skills or knowledge they need to teach children

Publishers

  • For sniffing around starving schools and districts for just one more dollar
  • For publishing politically-correct pabulum instead of the often unpleasant truth
  • For jamming textbooks with too many colors, sidebars, boxes, and pictures, exacerbating our attention-span problem even further
  • For bullying teachers into thinking that textbooks are curriculum

Administrators

  • For knowing nothing
  • For doing nothing
  • For supporting no one
  • For presiding over petty fiefdoms and police states instead of communities of learners

Teachers

  • For not knowing their content
  • For not knowing how to teach
  • For obsessing over coverage
  • For obsessing over their union contract
  • For resisiting change
  • For believing themselves unaccountable to anyone beyond themselves
  • For thinking they always know best

Students

  • For thinking that education is something that just happens to them
  • For blithely assuming everything will be fine, regardless of what they do or don't learn
  • For refusing to do their work
  • For making it impossible for anyone else do their work

They're All Saints

Educrats

  • For trying to find ways to create accountability where none has ever existed
  • For trying to make change in a political environment in which they are constantly compromised

Academics

  • For refusing to accept that "what was good enough for your father and me" has any pedagogical validity
  • For showing us how brains really work and how people really learn
  • For being models of the kinds of restless and inquisitive minds we hope to cultivate in our students

Publishers

  • For bringing tremendous amounts of talent and resources to the task of helping students
  • For always trying to do things better
  • For giving us options

Administrators

  • For being willing to run the asylum
  • For trying to create environments conducive to learning
  • For putting themselves in the crosshairs every day
  • For mediating among teacher unions, custodian unions, parents, politicians, and lunatic children

Teachers

  • For doing the job
  • For doing their best
  • For spending their days with our children
  • For grasping at teachable moments, whenever they appear
  • For struggling on against all odds

Students

  • For trusting that it matters
  • For giving it a good try, even when they have doubts
  • For shrugging off the idiots and staying focused on what's important
  • For navigating an increasingly carnivorous culture and trying, somehow, to grow up sane

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